“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28 NKJV
In recent years I’ve learned the Danish term “hygge” and have great appreciation for creating coziness when the weather is not cozy. Although I’ve lived in SW Florida since I was ten, the snow belt of the NY Lake Ontario coast was the first coast I knew with it’s blizzards, snowdrifts and grey days; shaking off the cold as you welcome the warmth of the indoors. Creating and enjoying a warm atmosphere brings to mind fireplaces, candle glow, steaming mugs of hot drinks or soups, warm socks, reading books under piles of blankets – you get the idea.
This year I learned that in Norway, the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day is called “Romjul” – around Yule/Christmas. Consider it space to create and recreate after the holiday doings and before stepping into 2022, time to pause, reconsider, just chill and slow down enough to dream again and plan a little. I’ve settled into this space and let it reenergize me, adjust my focus and take time to allow a settling and reset before embarking on the new year with a fresh start.
We’re just a few hours away from 2022 yet most of us have a few hours of space this weekend to experience Romjul before truly embarking into the new year. I encourage you to find some space and settle in, breathe deeply. Then take a few moments to consider those around you, express your thankfulness (no matter if it can only be for the little things), give of yourself – your time, your attention, your love. Our lives can change in the timespan of a heartbeat, truly – one heartbeat. It happened to our family; we were totally turned upside down. What will rock your world? Maybe something already has and you’re reeling from it. In the midst of that life-storm, God knows; He’s “got this.” His plans for us do not end as we are hurt or suffer, as our bodies decline nor as they pass away, rather His plans for us extend into and throughout eternity. We’ve only just begun. You’ve likely heard, “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”. Take a moment today to reflect on the gift of today and to be a gift by being “present” with those around you. It will be well worth your time.
Father, we cherish times of rest and reflection. Help us to open ourselves to receiving Your refreshing, Your rest, and the comfort from Holy Spirit, that we may be able to comfort those who are troubled.(2 Corinthians 1:4 NKJV)
SONG LINK: John Williams “Hogwart’s Great Hall Compilation”
‘To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” -Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV
Although I have not posted an entry in 2021 until today, my desire to encourage caregivers resurfaced early this year as their needs again came front and center to my attention. Doors opened to compile a book of my caregiving journey and I became personally acquainted with a publisher who would assist me with the entire process. Praise God! Then the work started…and continues.
The book quickly became three books and the first is nearly finished. That being said, the caregiver’s need for immediate help is urgent and more individuals find themselves in need for answers/encouragement/support every day.
So, in closing out 2021, I share a list of practical ideas for those in a caregiving/co-survivor position. Even those who have long-term experience in care benefit from reminders/reviews as none of us can juggle all the plates without dropping some. Be encouraged…simplify and slow down. You only need the next step…then the next…and the next, one at a time. And breathe, pray, rest, repeat.
Excerpt from my forthcoming book: There is SO much I wish I knew then. So I share a few practical helps now from what I’ve learned since, in no particular order, simply for you to consider as soon as possible. This is in no way medical advice, simply lessons learned from a caregiving life. And, of course, every situation and person is unique so you must consider what could work in your caregiving:
A traumatic brain injury, including stroke or concussion causes the brain to swell so any part that is affected by the event can provoke behavior, thinking and speech that is highly abnormal for that individual, but they personally are not likely to realize it at first.
Brain energy is quickly depleted due to much energy being used for the healing process.
Any type of stimulation can quickly become overwhelming, especially sight and light. We later learned from a vision therapist that 70% of brain energy is directed to sight and light…through the eyes. Therefore, a “brain break” with a blackout eye mask for 20 minutes or so gives the brain the best rest – no sight or light; quiet helps as well. Look for signs of anxiety or tiredness and take a brain break immediately. This can be done on a regular basis almost anytime in the hospital…and later in the car or at home. Keep a good eye mask with you everywhere and keep a watchful eye out for when a brain break is needed.
Consider how you would like to be treated if in this traumatic situation yourself. The reality can sometimes be that you would want those helping you to make the best possible decision when you are not able to, hard though that may be for you as a caregiver.
Kindness and consideration are always helpful.
Simplify decisions. Give choices of either/or, applesauce or yogurt, eggs or oatmeal, red or yellow; not “what do you want to eat?”
Take things slowly; pause when needed; take deep breaths and encourage them to as well.
PRESENCE is IMPORTANT, peaceful presence. Just being there, knowing someone cares and they are not alone is very calming and promotes healing. Anything anxiety-producing causes energy to be spent on the anxiety instead of on healing.
If touch is not painful or anxiety-producing, skin to skin contact can be a comfort: holding hands, touching the arm or leg, hand on the brow. Also consider cool or warm cloth on the forehead or eyes, brushing hair, lightly massaging hands/arms/legs/feet
Play familiar or calming music, music they like, and encourage singing or humming. Even humming stimulates the vagus nerve that works directly with the vital organs. Individuals can often hum or sing to some degree even if they can’t speak.
Consider beauty and order and how it can help with visual calming, especially in an unfamiliar place.
Bring printed copies/pictures of individual family members, favorite people and pets to display on a wall that they can see from their bed. If speech is impaired, put an identifying/relationship name under each photo so others in the room can converse about the pictures and relationships.
Speak life/truth/hope aloud. Positive statements or happenings. Laugh! Collect jokes and read them aloud. Watch funny videos or comedy routines, old or new.
Verbalize things you are thankful for and encourage them to do so. Every day. Consider keeping a thankfulness/gratitude journal – daily list just 3 things for which you can be thankful; that way you can review it with them anytime blessings need to be counted.
Give the gift of anticipation, something to look forward to: food from outside the hospital, phone call/FaceTime with a friend, going outisde on a sunny day, new pictures.
Prepare for rehab/restoration to be a marathon, not a 5K, as it takes time for the brain swelling to subside, for connections to be restored, and/or new neural pathways to form. But the brain is always changing…which always brings hope.
Father, You are the answer to our every need. You are THE Source of all. I trust you to lead us and show us all the next step. Remind us to lean in to hear Your voice, to quiet ourselves to be able to discern Truth, and to receive Your peace that passes our understanding, that we might have a future and a hope.(Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV)
For Those Who Care 