“It is not good for the man to be alone“ –Genesis 2:18 NIV
Quarantine. How strange to find ourselves in this situation! Right now so many of all ages are ALONE in their home most of the day. If you live alone, you have to make a concerted effort to socialize, to hear a “live” person, not just a live TV show. How odd for us all, yet this is exactly the plight of many caregivers. They can be totally ALONE while bearing the entire responsibility of caring for a loved one. If the one receiving care cannot talk for whatever reason, or is not awake or coherent for hours on end, the ALONE-ness can be very wearing.
Presently, because we are “safer at home” at the suggestion of others, multitudes of individuals who normally plow through their days, often multitasking and seemingly thriving on busyness, are now faced with the prospect of negative consequences: boredom, sadness, depression, overindulging in food or drink, etc. Without a schedule to follow, or a schoolbell to signal movement, millions are realizing the depth to which they depend on others. We don’t really want to be endlessly alone. Rightfully so – we are social beings, designed to be relational.
In the years that I took care of my husband Dale, I often faced being alone for hours or days on end. The strokes immediately left him with aphasia, and for the first 4 months, communication was so difficult that we chose to tackle it only as needed. Hospital stays were particularly long periods for me being alone in the midst of much activity. And later our years at home had many months of just the two of us in the household, with only limited communication so as not to frustrate or discourage Dale.
From this experience, it became evident that my social health needed to be addressed just as definitively as my physical, mental and spiritual health. It became more obvious that our whole being is integrated and works together for positive or negative outcomes. Part of my responsibility as a caregiver was developing ways to positively address social needs.
This led me to several specific actions that may be of help to you. First, develop the practice of thankfulness each day, even keeping a daily journal listing three things for which you are thankful (also see Count Your Blessings post). Second, realize that happiness is a choice; I choose to look for it in all circumstances. Third, do something for someone else “The Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” (Acts 20:35) In hospitals/rehab there was always someone who needed a smile, a little conversation and compassion. When alone at home, I could reach out through text and email most easily or handwrite notes to mail. And, finally, since JOY is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, spend time in God’s presence. “In your presence is fullness of joy.”(Psalm 16:11) As I focused outwardly, I found many opportunities to be engaged with others even when confined and am so thankful for technology that allows us to connect so readily.
In time, social needs became important to Dale as well so adjustments were made to that end. This need for socialization is what I want to stress to caregivers and their families. My family and extended family and friends were instrumental in our social well-being, being carefully observant of our needs, and suggesting/encouraging ways to stay connected. It is wise to involve your entire support team to help with this and be willing to receive from others.
Holy Spirit, we need Your help to maintain social health in times of confinement. We turn to you for insights, ideas and creativity to show us the way. (John 14:16 NIV)
SONG LINK:
Diana Ross “Reach Out and Touch”
https://youtu.be/sZlWLH8SiF8
For Those Who Care 