Tag: insights

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

Donna Hutcherson

“For I am not seeking my own good but the good of the many…” -I Corinthians 10:33 NIV‘

When I first considered writing about caregiving, the TV pilot for “Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist” had not even aired. In fact, I didn’t hear about it until the first of March this year when on a text message, my sisters referred to the show with one of them saying “we didn’t think it would have been good at all for Donna”. WHAT!!! I was in on that text and immediately reacted, thinking “How can you say this isn’t good for me? I need to check this out”. Of course, knowing full well my sisters were concerned about my well-being, I spoke with them and found out they thought it could be too emotional for me.

Fast forward: I immediately watched the first 3 episodes the first chance I had! Poignant – yes; a few tearful times – yes; things with which I disagree – yes; a bit hard to watch the portrayal of Zoey’s beloved dad who is slowly dying from a neurological disease – yes; worth the emotional ups-and-downs – YES! First of all let me say I LOVE MUSIC and this show is filled with music and dance – through a very unique, innovative presentation. That I love! This show is definitely written for an audience younger than I am, however, it speaks directly to the generation/s who have parents who are caregivers or who are receiving help from caregivers. The show’s family relationships are rich and lovingly sensitive to the dad’s situation, and the insights the siblings gain about mom as caregiver are a much-needed dimension in today’s society. That is my reason for continuing to watch this show and why I will proffer that it is worth a try for any adult. Caregivers’ loads and needs are highly misunderstood and therefore often neglected. I am both amazed and grateful that Hollywood has taken this on as a topic to address publicly. Caregivers are not the focus of the show, though, and after the first 3 episodes, played a rather small part, but that could readily vary with any future episode. That being said, anyone who watches the show will at least have exposure to some reality of caregiving.

I am most thankful that my children had a grasp of the needs of caregivers as I found myself in that role. Our family and extended family have all taken care of their aging or ill parents, providing an example and an opportunity to naturally observe and learn about caregiving – the good, the bad, and the ugly. As I participated in the intermittent care of my own parents and mother-in-law, circumspect family conversations that later included my grandkids gave voice to concerns and possible ways to assist caregivers, giving them a measure of respite. Communication and careful observation are key in learning about and then maintaining caregiver health – mental, physical, emotional, and social. In that light, anyone watching “Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist” will have opportunity to gain from the observation of both the care and the caregiver as well as the ensuing communication.

Lord, you continue to amaze me at the resources You provide, even from unlikely sources. I pray blessings on those who write and produce and finance ” Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist”, for Your guidance as they go forward, and that You draw forth the audience who needs to learn about the needs of caregivers.

Chris Tomlin “Good, Good Father”
https://youtu.be/OfJrxvVnmkE

Feeling confined?

Donna Hutcherson

“The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” -Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV

Everywhere in the news for the past week we’ve heard about self-quarantine and social/physical distancing. I was away camping for the past week while SO much changed so quickly. Amazing! Yet we had no problem in our camp life, except for hand sanitizer😏. We in the U.S. are not used to hearing directives…and being socially confined in any way is NOT something to which our society as a whole is accustomed. We value our independence in our freedom to make daily decisions of where to go and what to do. Occasionally, during blizzards or hurricanes, we are forced by nature to “stay put”, but now with widespread contagion, drastic confinement in other countries, and our own numerous restrictions this week, we all have had to adjust, often in a matter of hours – whether by personal choice or not of our choosing.

As I write this blog re: caregiving, confinement and personal restriction are no longer that foreign to me and I realize I’ve actually become practiced in it. I’ve had my freedoms confined several times in my adult life, sometimes by choice – staying home with each of my newborns, a job change with much more alone time after teaching school for years – and sometimes not my choosing at all – short term illness, hurricanes, floods, and most recently the immediate need as a caregiver after Dale’s stroke. That 4-year season was by far the most life-changing, with lengthy hospital/rehab stays and becoming more housebound for the last two years. The amazing result was that each time I was more confined, my personal growth flourished! Consequently, I recognize it has value for me and for others.

Presently the national COVID-19 health situation is causing us to address health from a community and national perspective, unfamiliar territory to most of us. However, working for the common good is not a new phenomenon and much good can come out of taking a new perspective, one that is bigger than ourselves, not self-centered. I am grateful for the times I’ve had to look at the bigger picture, not just my personal preferences.

Most recently, five years ago when my husband Dale had his massive stroke, I chose to stay with him nearly every waking hour – in ICU, hospitalization, and early rehab, becoming his advocate as well as his eyes and ears. Later living with him 10-12 hours a day in a lockdown neuro rehab facility along with 5 other brain-injured individuals and up to 6 medical attendants, I was confined in the same way he was and often left alone as he napped or was at therapy. At night I drove 30 minutes to stay with Dale’s sister and brother-in-law, adjusting to my home away from home. Definitely a daily routine out of my comfort zone! And this went on for over 3 months – NOT my preference but definitely my decision for the best interests of my husband. And you know what? MUCH good came out of that time – not just the improvement in Dale’s health, but the opportunity to encourage and love other patients who needed “family” when theirs were far away, to receive love and care myself from relatives, to be an advocate for Dale on a daily basis and an asset to the medical team by my presence and assistance. I still marvel at the GOOD that came out of that unlikely and even awkward situation, including developing new compassion in me and providing me with insights that still serve me almost daily 5 years later.

As you’re considering what to do in confining situations, realize we can still engage in wise, careful interaction with those near us and implement the timely use of social media or technology to our benefit for social interaction…even if it’s not our normal practice. I’m not giving you a list of “things to do”; an abundance of suggestions are already being brought forth as people share ideas. Do realize, however, there is no better time to develop your relationship with God, and we have Biblical examples in Paul and John for doing so in times of isolation, as well as a host of others who have been exiled, imprisoned, quarantined, Madame Guyon providing a more recent account.

The main thrust of my encouragement is that you take a stand against loneliness and self-pity, actually anything negative. I will even go as far as to say that loneliness is a tool of the enemy of our soul meant to discourage us. Those many hours I spent alone by Dale’s side often required me to be on guard – against isolation by reaching out, against depression by counting my many blessings, and against self-pity by realizing that former trials I’d faced had prepared me for such a time as this. Every time I reached out to others with a kind word, a smile, or a caring gesture, the reality that I was not alone became more evident. The Truth is that we are never alone – we can be certain that God is with us (Deuteronomy 31:8 NKJV) and that we are often joined in the spirit with others.

Remember, we often need support and encouragement of others. Ask for help even just to take the next step. If you need to reach out to me, please do so in your comments below. We have many vehicles by which we can help one another…and it usually takes far less time and effort to make a positive difference than we initially expect. Just reach out…

Thank you, Father, that we can be filled with the Holy Spirit, encouraging one another and giving thanks always, trusting that nothing we are facing comes as a surprise to You and You are faithful to see us through it. ( Ephesians 5:17-21; Philippians 4:6-8 NKJV)

Kim Hill “Slip Away”
https://youtu.be/enxca57LiVU